You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
