Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
