Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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