Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
That accounts for only three of the penises
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
