so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
