You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
