Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
