So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
