You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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