I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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