I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
