I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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