Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
