so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
