You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
