Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
