she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
