I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
