So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
