so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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