no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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