I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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