Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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