pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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