This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
