3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
