(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
