kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
