You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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