Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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