I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
