I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
