the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
