You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
