The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
