Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I intend to get homeless drunk
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
