in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
