before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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