Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
