theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
