I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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