I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
