conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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