Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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