she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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