did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
