no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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