i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We left the knife in your bed.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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