i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
