walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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