she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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