I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
