That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize