I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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