is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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