I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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