just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
